PAX, or the Penny Arcade Expo, is North America’s largest public gaming convention, so after years of attending E3, I figured it was time I headed to Seattle to see how the other half lives.

While E3 is seen as video game Mecca, PAX is more like Graceland. PAX is much more fun, and the access to hands-on demos is far better.

Furthermore, Seattle is a much nicer city than Los Angeles. While homeless people and drug dealers are still very noticeable downtown, you can walk around at night. The area around the convention center has a much greater selection of restaurants, and, if you want, you can head over to the original Starbucks, a non-descript building with a simple sign that doesn’t look at all like the patient zero of five dollar coffee.

The Expo itself has the feel of populism. The money is spent very differently than at E3, where the booths are huge and admittedly impressive, but everything is by appointment and huge portions of the show are behind closed doors. At PAX, the booths are smaller and less glamorous, but there are tons of free giveaways – t-shirts, energy drinks, comic books, buttons, beta codes and discount coupons, as well as some more creative stuff like TriCell employee badges, and a whole ‘dress up and take a souvenir photo’ deal at the Dragon Age booth.

Unfortunately it still smells like a gaming convention. Friday was thick with the distinct scent of laundry that had been left wet in the washer too long. That means rabid gamers are doing their laundry… but they’re not doing it well. Fabreeze would do well with a booth at these things. The scary part is that I’m becoming immune to the funk: it wasn’t until someone else pointed it out that I noticed how constant the stench was. I have officially done too many conventions this year.

When I hit up PAX East in Boston come the spring, I will make sure to bring COSTUMES! I was expecting E3 stodginess, but PAX is the complete opposite! I felt underdressed! My favorite costume was the girl dressed like GLaDOS from Portal. It was a triumph.

Okay, bad joke.

Being a woman at PAX means being a very distinct minority. Although it’s a big show, it hasn’t cracked the mainstream the way Comic-Con or Dragon Con have, so it’s still a sausage party. However, I discovered that guys aren’t opposed to trying to pick up women at PAX, especially at the fun after-hours parties!

The days end up being long. So here are some survival tips to maximize your enjoyment and minimize your wait time in long lines:

Buy your passes in advance, because they might sell out! They did this year!

Don’t assume that the airfare and hotel rates offered through the PAX housing website are guaranteed to be the cheapest. I found a fare directly through Air Canada for cheaper.

During the day, bring a backpack, or other bag that’s comfortable to carry all day. The giveaway bags cut into your hands after a while, and get cumbersome to lug around. You don’t want to turn down free stuff because you couldn’t carry it back to the hotel.

Pack some granola bars, protein bars, or other easy-to-eat snacks. Gaming hungry is not fun, and you will be waiting a long time for the more popular games. There are a few markets around the convention center to stock up at.

The shortest lines are first thing in the morning, and after 4PM. Prioritize what you want to play, and head to one of your must-plays each day right when the show floor opens. Otherwise, expect to be in line for 2 – 4 hours for a 15 – 30 minute demo.

Don’t be afraid to talk to people at the booths, or ask questions. The reps are there to encourage the public to buy their product.

The flip side of that is, BE POLITE! That’s not to say you shouldn’t be honest if there’s something you don’t like, because many of these games are still being tweaked. The developers want feedback, but they want constructive feedback.

Don’t be offended if somebody treats you like a noob because you have boobs. For a long time, the only women present at these shows were mainstream media reporters, and girls dragged along by their boyfriends. Even female gaming media aren’t necessarily hardcore gamers, so don’t take it personally: they’ll figure out quickly that you pwn.

If you are a noob, that’s okay too! You might as well exploit the stereotype!

Read your guide book, because there’s a lot going on. Also, subscribe to the PAX Twitter feed, and other news services to score wristbands for the various parties happening during the con.

If you do make it into one of these events, keep in mind that a bar full of gamers is still a bar and common sense safety rules still apply. Don’t do anything at a gaming party that you wouldn’t do at a regular party. You might be tempted to set your drink down to get in some game time, but don’t! Get a friend to hold it for you, or wait until you’re finished before picking up the controller.

KNOW YOUR LIMIT WITH ALCOHOL. With an open bar, it’s extremely easy to overdo it. You will have somewhere you want to be the next day. Playing Rock Band with a hangover is not fun.

Although the drinks are free, it’s still classy to tip the bartender. Although you have a wristband, you’ll still need ID. Drinking age in Seattle is 21.

These parties are meat markets! Be warned! There are about nine guys for every girl in these places, so you’ll get hit on a lot. I actually got a little rattled by this, and ended up putting a t-shirt on my head, trying to pull off a “shirt on head retarded” look to stop the incessant pick-up lines! It worked, but…

Okay, that should cover the main points! PAX East takes place in Boston, March 26th to 28th. 2010. If anyone is interested in attending, shoot me a message!