So apparently there are these gatherings – these nerdly gatherings – which people go to. They’re called things like “Fan Expo” and “Comicon” and stuff like that (or so I’m told). I usually have trouble remembering those names, though, so I generally just call them “Nerd Fest” (blanket statement, does the job nicely).

A friend stopped by my desk at work the other day to discuss an upcoming “con” (which I now know stands for “convention” and not “convict” or “contentious”). The way he described it was…a little different than I’d imagined.

Here’s what I thought it would be like:
In MY ideal con situation, I arrive at a gigantic building which has been transformed to look like an evil villain’s lair (or, on alternate years, a fortress…maybe one of solitude? Just throwing it out there). I am greeted by someone wearing an intricately detailed theatre-quality costume. I enter (also wearing some sort of costume – probably Captain Janeway’s outfit…or maybe 7 of 9’s getup) and I’m suddenly in a different world. Wookies are real! Ewoks run amok! C3PO is there for the kicking! The movies and comics are real, up is down, black is white and everyone in attendance is in nerdly nirvana. Nerd-vana!    I talk to characters, make some new nerd friends (who are happy to explain things I don’t understand. Like Dr. Who references.*) I enjoy eating some delicious nerd-based delicacies (“Another leg of tauntaun? Don’t mind if I do!”) and I generally soak in the culture. Maybe I purchase some kind of souvenir. After a few hours of living la vida geek, I head home with a deeper and more thorough understanding of why Lord of the Rings wasn’t mind-blowingly boring.

Apparently, I got a few of the details wrong.

For example, instead of going to a cool fortress-building, these things are usually at convention centers.  There ARE people in costume, and some of them DO get into character (I learned that LARPing is popular with this crowd), but they’re not the real deal (so if I DO kick C3PO, I may be in for a nasty lawsuit. Better keep that in mind for later). And, when inside the building (which, by the way, costs money to enter. REAL money! Not gold nuggets or unicorn hairs. Money I earned at work!), I will not believe I’ve entered into some kind of magical universe. Nope. My friend described the place as “having booths.”

Booths?

Apparently the point of going to these conventions is three-fold:
1. You buy stuff. Figurines, action figures, cards, unique  stuff – things you can’t get other places.

2. You meet people with similar interests. I guess I can understand this. If there was a children’s book-cookie baking-crafting-roller skate-con, I’d be the first person in line. And possibly the ONLY person in line.

3. You get stuff signed. My hubby told me about this part, actually. When I said I was considering going to the Toronto con this year, he said he was going to give me a bunch of stuff to get signed. I’m not sure what ‘a bunch of stuff’ entails, nor am I sure I’ll know who to approach for a signature. I figure I’ll just approach someone who looks official and ask them to sign something. Or forge the signatures myself. That’s option B.

Anyway, I AM seriously thinking about going to the Toronto con in August. If you’re there, come find me – seriously, please come find me. I’ll be the girl who’s wandering around with an armload of figures and a Sharpie, begging a dude in a Darth Vader costume to sign something.

* Dr. Who seems to be THE most complicated character in the universe. There. I said it. In. The. Universe.