Hello Neophyte Fan boys and welcome aboard! Comics could always use new blood. Muwahaaaaa! (Editors note: nix the evil laugh)
Here's the deal; all the cool kids have mad hater-a-tion for the New 52, and you want to fit in, right? You don't want to catch a backhand that leaves a Red Lantern ring imprint on your cheek, do you? Of course not, so here are 10 things you don't want flying out of your mouth when talking about the new 52 in mixed company. Follow these rules and those outsider nerds won't deem you an...outsider.
1. "I don’t think this new Superman is going to catch on. Now Mr. Terrific on the other hand, there’s your hero."
2. "But seriously, why did they need to change Aquaman?"
3. "The shittiest part of storm watch… no storms. Like come on!"
4. "Did anyone else hear the rumor that Glen Beck was replacing Bruce Wayne? No, just me."
5. "If he had any artistic merit, Grant Morrison would have put Superman in a nice pair of Lululemons and not Levis."
6. "Say what you will about the relaunch, but you have to admit continuity is a bit overrated."
7. "I know 52 does suck. It’s good to know Marvel NEVER makes these kinds of asinine mistakes."
8. "The whole 52 relaunch was to bring in first time readers who otherwise might have been confused by all the heavy continuity of previous issues. I mean you just have to read new Legion of Super-Heroes to realize that."
9. "Cat woman and Batman had sex with their clothes on? Why do I have the urge to point out what DC did to my childhood on a plastic doll?"
10. "The new 52 is only sexist if you’re looking for it, otherwise it has the right amount of women in it to make me feel as comfortable as someone receiving his mail order bride for the first time."