Has anyone ever told you that something is awesome –really awesome – and gone on and on about it until you experienced the thing yourself? And then, after being totally hyped up about it, have you ever been extremely disappointed?
That was me. And The Matrix.
Husband has been talking about this movie for years. “You should totally see it!” he said. “Oh, it’s so amazing!” he promised. “There’s no way you could NOT love this movie!” he enthused.
We-ell…unfortunately, he misjudged my ability to dislike things.
Because I certainly did not like the movie.
Now, I’m willing to admit that maybe I dozed off at one point. But I don’t think it really mattered all that much. It was during one of the fight scenes (of which there were far too many. Dude, I get it. C’mon now. Can’t we all just get along?). When I woke up, they were still fighting. So it was only a couple of minutes. And as *riveting* as the dialogue was, I really don’t think I missed a gosh darn thing.
You know what I realized, about midway through the film? I just don’t like Keanu Reeves. He kind of wrecked the whole thing for me. I think that if anyone else had been playing the lead, I could take it more seriously. As it was, I just kept hearing “Woah, dude” every time he talked. And that kind of detracted from the rest of the plot.
Also, even though it wasn’t a REALLY old movie, the technology made me giggle. What was cool beans back then seems kind of lame sauce now.*
And I was kind of on board with the evil dude who was part of Keanu’s team. You know, the dude who tries to shoot the other dude? He made the point about being warm and safe and whatnot in the other world (the Matrix? I don’t know – help me here, wise nerds) and then pointed out how cold and miserable they were in their little tin can ship, I kind of agreed. Wholeheartedly. If delusion means I’m warm, happy, and full and with those I love, then reality can suck it.
So Matrix rates a solid ‘meh’.
I did do one other nerdy thing this week: I tried to play Xbox 360! Hubs was playing this older game called “The Club.” You basically run around various areas (I chose the prison) and shoot people. And try to find the exit before the time runs out and you die. Nice, cheery game.
I watched hubs play for a few minutes, and it bugged me that he kept missing the head shots (I loved it when the voice came on in a staccato voice and said “Head. Shot”). So I decided to show him how it was done.
I died in, what? Two seconds? Three? The basic problem was the fact that I couldn’t keep track of which button was for shooting, which one was for zooming, and which one was for moving. Too much control for Jess! I like me a good old-fashioned button-smasher. I’ll take one of those any day of the week! This was definitely not that sort of experience. I didn’t even get in one good head shot. Heck, other than emptying my ammo into a wall, I don’t think I did any damage to anything (although some would argue that structural damage counts. It does! Ask an architect!).
I think I might try another of the husband’s games next week. Or maybe I’ll wait until Christmas. I have it on good authority that Santa might be bringing hubs a duo pack of Batman games. And, as you all know, I loves me some Batman.
*Even the slang is better now.