Whether you’re male or female, if you’ve been to a gaming convention you’ve seen them: nerdy girls who are present for a variety of reasons. Most of the time, they’re there for the exact reasons you are: to have fun, enjoy themselves, and likely to play some games. They’re not the booth babes – though they can be just as pretty – nor are they just there to be a trophy for a gamer guy. I have some insights to share for both the dudes and the ladies reading this. Listen carefully, because what I have to say could save your (sex?) life at a con someday!

Girls, I’ll start with you. There are a few things that you’re just going to need to accept. First, you will be hit on. There’s nothing you can really do about that, as the guys at these conventions may be interested in everything and anything you can or will do. Think going dressed as a zombie will save you? Nope, somebody will be into that. You’re much better off spending your time doing what everybody else is there to do: playing games. You wouldn’t be at a gaming con otherwise, would you? Now, if you’re into nerdy guys, that’s a nice benefit – there will be plenty of them there, and they’ll love it if you pay attention to them. But don’t forget that they’ll often take that as a sign to attempt to hit on you more, in which case you may need to step up your counter-nerd measures a bit more. Recommended courses of action include the male friend who can act as your boyfriend, very obviously displaying interest in another, or the worst-case scenario of snappy responses. Be aware that this last choice very possibly may make him stay away from you forever and should only be used in an emergency.

Outside, of such encounters, don’t feel that you need to be a representative for your gender. It’s much more important to be yourself in whatever way you feel appropriate. At a gaming con, it is 100% appropriate to play the games you want to and check out the booths you’re interested in. If you start to kick ass at a game, be aware that there’s a good chance you’ll intimidate some of the males around you. Those who are intimidated may become docile, but don’t expect special treatment. They’re gamers just like you, and it’s not fair to expect them to treat you differently just due to your body. Keep in mind that many of them simply aren’t around women who are interested in the same things they are; you’re like a holy grail to them and that’s why you’re so desirable.

Boys, now it’s your turn. Take a look at what I’ve said to the nerd girls and try your best not to be that douchebag. Just because we know that we’re going to be hit on doesn’t mean that we like it. If you sincerely think that you have a chance based on how she’s reacting to you, it may be worth considering, but she’s probably just there to have fun rather than to score. (On the flip side, I do know some exceptions, and I’ve met a number of cute gamer boys out there at cons.) However, that doesn’t mean stay away from us – we don’t want to feel like lepers. Gamer girls especially typically don’t bite unless you’re rude or obnoxious, and women tend to be social creatures.

But don’t ever insinuate that as women we have no right to be there. I can, among other things, do a perfect Turbo Tunnel run. I don’t expect a good deal of the people at a gaming con to even know what I mean, let alone be able to match that. If you try to one-up me (and I don’t mean with a green mushroom!), I will retaliate as best as possible. There’s no reason to assume that I lack skills based solely on my gender, and this is a great way to piss anybody off. Unfortunately, gamer girls have a history of being marginalized in the gaming world, so we’re especially sensitive to people telling us we don’t know what we’re doing. And yes, it’s still awful if other women are telling us this – it doesn’t matter where we’re coming from. Regarding trash talk during games: “You suck because you’re a woman” is not acceptable. “You suck at this!” may be. Understand that blaming our gender is a bad thing and a generalization – and to quote Clerks, “I’m making a broad generalization.” “No, you’re making a generalization about broads.”

Do you think you’ll get lucky at this con? So does every other single gamer boy who is there. It’s probably not going to happen, but I’ll be honest – there’s a small sliver of a chance. That chance is the reason your brethren become reviled: they think that it’s much higher, and they think that by hitting on every woman present that their odds go up. Unless she’s specifically looking for a hook-up or more, she probably isn’t paying too much attention. Do me a favor and try not to ruin her experience – it’s not a lot of fun to have to constantly avoid certain guys because they won’t leave you alone. I’ve been in that situation before, and I’m certainly any other girl who has been to a gaming con has had to deal with that as well. Women are more likely to show up if it feels like a safer, less threatening environment, so do what you can to help out.

Remember, these are not hard and fast rules. Everybody is different, and I’m certainly pandering to the stereotypes here that I’ve seen in my experiences at gaming cons. Other cons can and will have a completely different feel and attract a different type of person; for instance, anime cons are a whole different beast. Just remember no matter who you are that we’re all people and we all just want to be respected. Nerd girls are people too!